Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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