uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
