Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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