guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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