i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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