I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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