How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
