she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
