Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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