I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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