just come out here and I will go home with you...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
