so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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