if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
