he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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