We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
only if we run a train.
done.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
