Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
