So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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