I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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