It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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