dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
