i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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