hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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