Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
