dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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