pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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