When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
