Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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