We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
