My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
