At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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