Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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