i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
