OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
