dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
