ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
