Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
