I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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