It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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