Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
