rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
