best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
