yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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