My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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