I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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