READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
