I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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