found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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