so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
