apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
