Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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