you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
