This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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