I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
MIDGETS
????
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
