I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
