He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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