the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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