she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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