are you still at the devil's house?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
