he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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