Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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