My room smells like vodka and shame
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
